I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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