Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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