Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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