Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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