I need help removing her.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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