I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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