maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
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She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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