The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
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I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
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I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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