And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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