I got her a Nickelback box set.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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