I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize