somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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