..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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