I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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