The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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