I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize