i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
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When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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