Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can text with my tongue
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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