Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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