how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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