The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize