Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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