I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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