Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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