one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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