He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize