Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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