Only a mothe r could love this liver
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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