I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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