she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize