is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize