omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
as a side note pls kill me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize