He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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