let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize