: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize