chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize