I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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