fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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