she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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She's not a foreskin expert like you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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