Umm I'm too high to move.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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