you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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