You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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