well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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