i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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