i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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