Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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