So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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