So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
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What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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