so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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