oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize